TALES FROM THE GARDEN 2 – The Earthworm Company

TALES FROM THE GARDEN 2 - The Earthworm Company

By Elizabeth Adekanmi

Spring is fast giving way to summer! Avid gardeners would have been at work in their gardens for some time now. Just about now, the evidence of their weeks of careful planning and planting will be peeping out of the soil.  So many things work together to make this possible. There are also unseen or not so obvious contributors or workers involved in the process.  For example, rain, sunlight, microorganisms, decomposing agents and the seed itself. One of such not so obvious contributor is the earthworm. It’s this organism we’ll be looking at in this write up.

Our Lord Jesus is in the habit of using what people are familiar with to pass across what He wants to teach them. He chooses as His object lesson or teaching aid what people are already seeing and engaging with to bring them to the understanding of eternal truth. Scriptures in places will call our attention to observe God’s creation for specified lessons:

         Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:                          Pro 6:6

              Yea, the stork in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the turtle and the crane and             the swallow observe the time of their coming; but my people know not the judgment of the Lord. 

                                                                                                                                                Jere 8:7

Likewise, following this example, let’s take a trip to the garden and pay attention to the humble earthworm.  Earthworms are not glamorous creatures that are especially loved by humans, infact, many us pay them no attention. Yet they play an important role in our ecosystem. Without going into too much scientific jargon, this organism break down dead and decaying leaves helping to release their nutrient back to the soil. Their activities improve soil structure, aerating the soil and improving drainage.  What is then the lesson to pick up from them?   

The first lesson is the fact that they are silent labourers. They silently carry on their God given roles without drawing attention to themselves or asking for reward.  How much we need this attribute! How we need the Lord to take away the restlessness within, the attention seeking, praise craving thing within us.  This problem is the reason we feel offended when our effort is not rewarded or recognised.  You will notice that even in our churches, there will be more people willing to be ushers or serve in the choir than those volunteering to be sanctuary cleaners. It is the same reason why someone barely commune with God privately; no quite time but she is present in every prayer room there is.  Let’s consider these words of Jesus:

     And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

                                                                                                                          Matt 6:5-6

   Is this to say the Lord Jesus is against corporate prayers?  Not at all, reading the entire chapter and taking it in context, we will see how He laid before us the need  for and how to cultivate the virtues of the Christian life. He instructed us to do so without public announcement or away from public view. Why? So we don’t miss the reward He gives.

     Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. Matt 6: 2

 To overcome this restless, we must be willing to lay our actions before the Lord and allow Him examine our hearts for the real reasons behind them. He calls us to consciously question our motive. Once revealed to us, we must not excuse or explain them away. We must respond with repentance whether the next door neighbour feels it’s necessary or not.  If we are sincere with the Lord, He will arise with healing on His wings for our internal woes.

Secondly, unlike the slug, they are not destructive. The slug not only eats into your vegetable but will also leave a trail of shining slime behind.  Earthworms don’t attack living plants. Even their waste which is called Worm casting not only nourish the plants but also sustain other beneficial microorganism. May our presence bring life to everywhere God will have us be. When we walk through the produce aisle at the supermarket and see those leafy greens and salad leaves, none of us think of the earthworm. We select the best ones in the basket and that’s as much thought as we give to the item.  These humble creatures seek no reward yet enriching others.  This we must seek the Lord to make out of our lives. It must be an on-going request because the battle within and the temptation without are ongoing.

I commend us to God as we seek Him for grace to live an overcoming Christian life.



By Elizabeth Adekanmi

During the spring/summer of 2020, as we were all in the middle of lock down with only essential services open and children activities at a standstill, I was desperate for creative ways of engaging the children. One of the things we did was to try our hands at container gardening. Off I went to the shop to buy seedlings and seed packet. We got some strawberry plants that were beginning to flower, compost and suitable containers.  After transplanting the seedlings, being eager to eat our very own strawberries, we added some plant food we had at home. We tried to attract pollinators to get the job done. With daily watering and care, we were convinced nature will take its course and we’ll soon be having health dessert to accompany our dinner.

 After a while, instead of the flowers turning into fruits, they all withered and fell off.  The plant began to grow leaves wildly, sprawling everywhere.  Surprised by the turn of events, we doubled our watering schedule in order to combat the heat, we wanted to do our best hoping the plant will come round and bear the desired fruit before the season come to an end. To our disappointment, nothing of such happened. All other things we planted; Spinach, tomatoes and potatoes grew and were harvested but not the strawberry. 

 So, that planting season came to an end, and all the annual plants were spent. Some bugs began boring holes in the leaves just then. In came the frost and winter. Often am saddened when I see these strawberry plants that had failed to bring the much-expected fruits. One morning, as I looked them over, I was somewhat infuriated by how much space they have taken and decided to pulled them off. As I yanked at the first plant, a thought came to me to leave them and see what becomes of them. This brought to mind the biblical story of the gardener who pleaded with the land owner to allow him dig round the fig tree and manure it one more year.

But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. Luke 13:8NKJV

Fast forward this spring/summer, the plants blossomed and flourished. Before we knew it, they were fruit laden. Honestly, you have never eaten a more delicious strawberry! The fruits were not only tasty, but also kept well. They did not rot quickly like we know commercial strawberries to do.  

As mundane as the situation narrated above may be, it is a picture of many situations we find ourselves in life. It got me seriously thinking. If in our disappointment and frustration we had uprooted the poor plants, we would not have had the privilege of seeing the plants’ turnaround, let alone enjoy the sweet fruits they produced. The plants were victims of my weight of expectation. When they did not perform as expected, my initial reaction was to uproot them.

 Likewise, is there anything in your life that you have invested time and effort into but have not yielded the desired result? Have you nursed great expectations that have been met with disappointments? Could it be your children or does it relate to your marriage? Extended family situations or relationships you have built over time?   It might be true that like us, you applied the wrong fertilizer. Or you killed it with too much love as it was with our watering schedule.  Whatever the case may be, may I counsel you not to uproot it yet? Stop your comparison.  That child is an individual sent here by God with a specific purpose attached to a predetermined time.  Other children that age might have achieved this and that, he or she will get to that milestone at God’s appointed time.  Late blooming roses bring the most delight in my opinion. 

If it relates to a difficult marriage, our Lord’s first miracle in Cana was at a wedding. There was no need for a miracle until the wine ran out!  Nagging your spouse to compliance is a poor strategy; it’s not only tiring but might only result into hardening them. It’s solely the voice of the Maker that a creature cannot refuse!  Filing for divorce? Hear the master say: “Fill the water pots with water”.

The best we can do is to hand it over to God and trust Him with the situation. A change of approach or method might be what is required. But how do we know how best to go about it when we ourselves are disconnected from the source- Jesus Christ?  Has the ‘flowers’ of salvation and consecration withered from our lives? Are we just sprouting the leaves of religion?  Or we are being fed upon by the bugs of anxiety and worry? The first step towards recovery is to retrace our steps back to the cross, be reconciled with God and surrender our lives and our living. The Lord Jesus testified of Himself in John 15 Vs 1 as the true vine and God the Father, the Vinedresser. The job of pruning and purging are His. The more we abide in Him, the better we are able to know and tell the difference between what should be cut off and what needs tending for fruitfulness. In fact, He Himself will see to it.

Our request should not merely be to eat fruit from the ‘plant’ but we must be prepared for whatever outcome He brings us in His sovereignty. That His will be done in every situation must be our resolve.     

In some instances, the ‘seed’ we were given to ‘sow’ by nature will take long to mature. The temptation to dig it off, and go for a quick fix then is great especially if others around us are celebrating their harvest.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.   Proverbs 13:12 NKJV            

 The beauty and potential of the expected harvest when it eventually comes is well worth the pain of waiting. The admonition God gave us through Apostle Paul is:


And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.  Galatians 6:9NKJV

 And don’t allow yourselves to be weary in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!       Galatians 6:9 TPT       

I commend us to God as we consider these things, that He will help us to make corrections and seek His strength as it relates to us.  Amen.                                    




By Elizabeth Adekanmi

….. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

                                                                      Gen 24:64 KJV

……. When Rebekah looked up and saw Isaac, she quickly dismounted from her camel

                                                                           Gen 24: 64NLT

…… When Rebecca saw Isaac, she got down from her camel.

                                                                             Gen 24:64 GNB                     

The twenty fourth chapter of Genesis gives a narrative of the Lord’s providence in giving Isaac a wife. It bears testimony of His commitment and assistance to us when we are given to seeking His will.  Many of us will remember His help in this area of our lives. 

‘You may now kiss the bride’ announces the Officiating Minister. The Groom then lifts the veil and kisses his bride. ‘I present to you MR & MRS X’ the Minister added.  The congregation gives a round of applause to the newlyweds or in a COVID-19 world, those who view online.   And so begins their lives together, two people from two different backgrounds with two different upbringings.  One of the Lord’s mandates for them being Genesis 2: 24; therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Towards the end of the chapter in Genesis 24, we see Rebekah consenting to leave Mesopotamia without delay in order to be married. The journey on Camel would have taken several days no doubt. What happened on their arrival in Canaan is what I will like to draw our attention to. Verse 64: When Rebekah saw Isaac, she got down from her camel.  

What is the significance of this? It means both of them can relate on the same level, Rebekah would have had to talk to Isaac from a height had she not taken that step.  Secondly, covering herself with her veil would at best have been an inconvenience when atop a camel.

It is possible to be married in name, but remain on camels. This camel could be anything from hero worship, comparison, friends, Status, economic power, unrealistic expectations etc. The camel of ‘this is how we do it when I was with my parents’ or ‘Uncle Peter and Aunt Alice usually do things this way’, ‘Oh ! The Jones did this last year, we must do it too’, some other times, they are just ideals we have consciously or unconsciously built. Should we then not have ideals? – Not if they are at variance with God’s word and purpose.   We must alight from these camels – whatever that may be for us as individuals.

Getting down from them allows us to be able to wrap ourselves with the veil of humility and godliness through which Christ can shine. It leaves us with the readiness to follow the Lord into the unknown, open hearts and hands to receive God’s help in building our homes. Without this in place, many shadows will haunt the marriage. The man can hardly take his wife into his mother’s tent so to say. The injunction of God to the man in Gen 2:24 will be a herculean task for the man if his bride is still riding her dromedaries of camels.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2: 24

Or how easy will it be for a man to cleave to a woman that is cleaving to other things? Am I absorbing the menfolk of their responsibility? By no means, I am only focusing on what pertains to the female human. The best mirror we can look into in order to find what our individual camel is, is God’s word- The Bible. As we make it a habit to humbly approach the throne of grace on a daily basis, we will clearly see what our individual ‘camel/s’ is/ are. Victory comes when we surrender them at the foot of the cross. For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.  Heb4:14 AMP

Let us then get off our camels, cover ourselves with veils of humility and godliness, following the master as He leads us to build His kingdom beginning from our homes. We will see the love and comfort of the Lord permeating our homes. Don’t we know that healthy marriages produce balanced children, strong Church and safe society? The decay we see in society and church are a direct result of dysfunctional marriages. Alas! The change we crave must begin with us.  






Keeping your Home Environment

The home is the place where we are all real with each other, it is the place where we relax and enjoy being ourselves.  Your home is to be a place of peace and rest both for the Lord and for everyone in your home. There are homes where conflicts arise between husbands and wives over cleanliness.  As the woman of the house, you are responsible for the cleanliness of your home, I am not saying your husband should not and cannot help, but primarily it is your responsibility, and you are the one to mobilise those in your home in the art of cleaning the home.
The cleanliness of your home will play a huge role in the life and wellbeing of those who live within it.
One well-known saying is “cleanliness is next to godliness”. God Himself is a holy God, and when you look through Leviticus for example, you will see the many instructions for cleanliness that He introduced to the Israelites.   If God takes the matter of cleanliness seriously, how can we, His children not make our home environment a clean place?
Why keep a clean home?
  1. To honour the Lord: Our home environment speaks a lot about us, and if God the Maker of the universe dwells in your home, you want to make sure that your home is clean for Him, it is a service to render first to Him who is holy.
  2. To honour everyone within your home: Keeping your home clean must not be something done because you will be having a visitor, but it is for each and everyone in your home to enjoy first, and that includes you. When you see the cleanliness of your home in this manner, you will not feel stressed to keep your home in order because a visitor is coming, rather, your home is first what it is because of those who live here, and as result, visitors come in to enjoy what you and your household are already enjoying, as it becomes a matter of lifestyle and not just practice.
To keep you in good health: When a home environment is clean, it keeps germs and bacteria away as much as possible, and this helps to improve the well-being of those in your home environment.
To beautify your home: With no shadow of a doubt, the cleanliness of your home has a way of adding beauty to it, and so also is the opposite, a house unkempt makes the house look ugly.
If the cleanliness of your home is of high importance as discussed above, the matter we want to look at now is how do you do this?
Sweeping: Sweep your home daily or two to three days intervals, this is because your home automatically accumulates dirt.
Dusting: Dust accumulates every now and then within your home, therefore, make effort to dust surfaces like the T.V, lintels, banisters etc.
Fresh air: Leave your room window open for some minutes daily, and particularly during winter months.
Empty your bin: Make sure you empty your bin regularly and dispose of rotten and expired items that cause bad odour in your home.
As you make effort to keep your home in clean order, bring your children in too, so that they can assist you. If possible discuss chores with your husband and see if he is willing to take on any of them after both of you sit and pray about what needs to be done around the house and agree on a plan.
Let’s be real, women live as busy lives now as men, what happens when you both work full time and you have responsibility for the children and all the meals as the mummy, even when you do not work full time, the responsibility of running the home can be quite overwhelming. If you struggle to find time to keep on top of your cleaning then here are some options.  Employ someone, formal or informal, ask friends and loved ones to help out, have prompts e.g. no breakfast until the kitchen is clean! Etc
There are online self-help guides on how to keep a clean house, one of them includes having a 15 mins declutter daily regime. Do some research and pray to the Lord for His wisdom as you seek to make your home a haven. Don’t be condemned if you are doing your best and it’s not good enough. Keep pressing in, do not be discouraged.

The challenge of mobile phone and your quiet time

One of the best gifts God gave us as Christians after the death of His Son, is the gift of our quietness in His presence; a time when you reflect upon His Word, and a time to meditate and pray.
Your ability to function well and be productive both in your behaviour and day to day running of your home as a woman will be hugely impacted as you spend time in the presence of God.
Unfortunately, another gift, the gift of mobile phones has also come to be the main ruin of our quiet times with the Lord.  I want us to briefly look at the pros and cons of mobile phones during your quiet time with the Lord?
It can be a means of setting time for your duration in His presence.  The danger to this is that your quiet time can become dogmatic, not allowing the Holy Spirit to control your time in God’s presence.
It can be a means of researching words, ideas and places. This again can divert your attention away from the Lord and be carried away by the many sites suggestions unless you are well disciplined.
It can help to write quick notes. However, in trying to write your notes, messages and chats might come in which may take you away from the presence of God. You can turn on your flight mode to disable the internet and calls.
Mobile calls can be a hindrance to you paying full attention in the presence of God.
Your quiet time ought to be an enjoyable time in God’s presence, and therefore, if your mobile phone will be an obstacle, you must get rid of it while having your quiet moment in God’s presence.
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.  And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.  Matt5:29-30

Introducing a screen free time in your home

Our homes are filled with various screens; the television screen, our mobile phones, our iPad and the likes. The more time we spend on these screens the more time we spend apart from each other. Sit down and calculate how many minutes, hours you spend daily on your phone or television screen?
As an example, I spend time writing, recording, answering and responding to all sorts of issues. And there are some of you out there whose vocation/profession involves the screen, and if you are not careful you will find yourself engaged with the same at home.  And you know that too much time on screen affects your eyesight, too much time sitting down at the front of the screen has an effect on your back, too much time sitting down by the screen steals your time!
And I am sure there will be many more side-effects of too much screen time. How then can you introduce a screen time free to your home? It is possible to introduce screen-free time into your home.
You may have a rule of no T.V before a certain time in your home.
You may have a rule of a certain amount of time on all technology that has screens in your home.
You may have a particular time of the day, where everybody submits their phones, iPad to a certain place, and the T.V off for up to two hours while people go and take a siesta, or spend time listening to God, read their Bible, books or do something fun together as a family. Particularly when you have little ones, having story time helps a time when you pick two or three books to read to everybody and encourage the older ones to read out for the younger ones to listen and thereafter take questions and responses.
In order to make this a fun time, you may provide a little snack and make it interactive so that the children long for a screen-free time in the home.
May the Lord who gave you the gift of your home, also help you to know how to make sure screen time is not causing a huge disruption in your family relationship.
There are several practical steps laid out in this article and my suggestion is that you would take a notebook, write down the ideas you have gleaned from them and get praying. Ask the Lord to help you prioritise, adapt and live out the instructions He has given. May the Lord be your guide as you press in to become the godly wife and mother that brings glory and honour to His name in Jesus’ name.

Technology and you

Our generation has advanced beyond belief when it comes to technology.   If the woman in the home is not careful, she will experience overcrowding caused by technology in her relationship with her husband and her children.
While technology is a great tool, it can also be an instrument that can destroy your family relationships in your home with your husbands and your children. To disallow technology from bringing division between you and those in your household, let us reflect on:
1. Motherhood and technology: there is a growing proportion of children, including toddlers abandoned to the parenting hands of technology, children as young as a few months old can operate technology. Meanwhile, there are basics of life that mothers are to inculcate into their children as they play, touch, sing and do activities together with them. Unfortunately, sibling’s time together is also invaded by technology, they spend more time with technology than with each other. It is rather unfortunate that the advent and the advancement of technology appear to be pushing against the privilege that mothers ought to have in their children’s lives through spending good and quality time with their children. Thereby instilling in them the basics of life, and this also affects siblings spending good and quality time together.
How do you combat this challenge? You must recognise that technology is meant to be your servant; it is to serve you. It is not for you or your child to become the servant of technology. Therefore, put a definition to your motherhood and technology in your home.
In your own home, what is technology? Is it the one mothering and substituting for you in your child’s life? How can you use technology wisely as a mother?  Sit down to make a note of the role technology plays in your children’s lives and the effect of the same, and then, seek God in prayer to put things in the right perspective.
2. Do not give your husband’s place to technology: the strength of a marital relationship depends so much on the time couples spend in talking and interacting together as they relate with the Lord. Unfortunately, the advancement of technology has caused many couples to replace each other with one form of technology or another. Many husbands are left to themselves while wives engage with technology.
Some husbands pour the love and the affection they have for their wives into technology. Some of our bedrooms or bedtimes are interrupted by mobile phones. While couples retire to bed and both still continue to interact with mobile phones. This ought not to be so.
What usually happens between you and your husband when you have gone to bed? Is your husband by himself on the bed or on the phone or watching television in the bedroom? Are you engrossed with messages on your phone, catching up with messages you couldn’t read because of business at work, or your tight schedule? Do you then use bedtime as an opportunity to ignore your husband, and engage with your phone or catch up with a programme on your bedroom T.V?
One rule I had to subject myself to is that I will not take my mobile phone to my bedside or my room when I go to bed. I believe it is an honour, I owe my husband.
Technology as good and useful as it is must not come between you and your husband.  If it is already coming between you, then, you need to make amendment as soon as possible.
So, did something meant to be good become death to me Roman7:13a

The danger of making other homes your standard

As women, we are very good at comparing and contrasting things. And if we are not careful, you will find yourself comparing your family standard with another family, and before you know it you are engaged in competition and a restless pursuit.  The goal of Christ’s women must never be to make another home their standard, even though there may be things to emulate from them, Christ ought to be the standard a woman pursues her home.
What standards do women compare in their homes?
1. Finance: One of the things women compare with themselves is the financial capacity of their families. They look at their family earnings and what they could do to earn more or to be up to the standard of the other family. As good as this may be, you should not aim to achieve or accomplish the financial status of another family. This may put pressure on your husband, on your children and your relationship with them.  Christian married women often pressurise their husbands to find extra work in order for them to have the financial status that matches that of their friends. This is not acceptable as Christians, you must not push your husband to such extreme, you are to appreciate him for the little he manages to bring in, and help him to see how that little can be well spent to the glory of God. And sometimes, some women take up additional work and put a further strain upon their health, the health of their marriage and children and relationship in their homes, as for you, you must beware of this.
2. Husband’s ability and treatment: Another thing married women compare amongst themselves is their husband’s ability. Maybe it is the sexual ability, social ability, ability to talk and socialise. Again, if you take your husband to friends to measure in line with their husbands, you will only find yourself frustrated and ungrateful. And you will end up building “envy blocks” between you and your friend.
3. Children’s ability: This is another killer in family life, the comparing of your children with the children of your friends. Sometimes, you may look at the academic performance of your friend’s children and become frustrated with that of your children, and with the help of technology and social media, women have been able to post their children’s achievement for many others to see, and this is a practice that I am totally against. Mary, the mother of Jesus kept many things about her Son in her heart and not in the public domain. So, if you have friends that share details of their children’s success on social media, or events and happenings in their homes, you have to equip your heart with the truth of God’s word concerning your children. And the truth is whether you like it or not children will never be at the same level of abilities whether spiritually, physically, academically etc.
If there are areas you desire growth or improvement in your children, why not turn to God? There is a huge danger in seeking to make other people’s home the standard of your home, God is the One with the blueprint for every home and that includes yours, why not turn to Him?
If there be any standard of comparison, Christ gave us one in Matthew 7 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock Mt 7 24-25

Stand not alone

There is evidence from statistics of wives doing life by themselves. They are unplugged from the community of other ladies that may be of help to them in their journey, meanwhile, wives at all levels need the support of other wives and mothers. The road to godly motherhood and godly marriage is like a roller coaster ride, God knew that there would be highs and lows, hence the reason He plants people on our path to help and guide at these seasons of life.  Have you a community of ladies? The benefits of communities of like-minded wives and mothers are great and so rewarding if well managed.
How to get plugged into a community of godly wives and mothers.
There are many groups helping and supporting each other, face to face and virtually. Technology has also helped people to form communities of support and encouragement to each other. In order to get plugged into the support of focus group, below are some of the things I will encourage you to do.
  1. Speak to people in your church: There are small groups of women in local churches that support and care for specific people groups, why not ask if there is one for wives and mothers in your local church, and if there is none, why not pray on starting one in your local church? Approach your leaders, and if given the go-ahead, speak to the older ladies and encourage them to join the group in order to guide and guard the younger wives and others in your local church.
  2. Google up “Groups for Christian mothers or wives: There are many groups for wives and mothers on WhatsApp, Facebook, Telegram and various social media platforms, while I will say be careful as to which group you get yourself into, read the ethos/beliefs of the group and view some of the activities they are involved in and see if that meets your personal standards.
  3. Tried referral: Sometimes, friends may refer you to groups online or some that meet face to face, why not give it a try and see how beneficial it might be to you.  A word of caution, do not be dragged into many groups, particularly online groups, be disciplined as to how many groups you want to be part of, or else you will find yourself being Jack of all trade and master of none. There was a time when I subscribed to many groups on Facebook, and when I needed to get into the useful groups that I needed, it seemed all muddled up. I had to take extra time deleting and removing myself from such groups so that I can focus on the ones that matter to me.
  4. Books: One way that I have found community is through books, I have devoted myself to the reading of many books from different backgrounds and different authors. With this, I found myself learning like a university student, taking all sorts of courses to build oneself up and keep myself occupied positively. The only difference is that there is no opportunity to speak vocally or live with the persons involved in the book, having said that, you may be able to write to the author of a particular book you are reading.
Communities help to develop and grow you into the wife and the mother and ultimately, the woman you ought to be, and this happens if you find the right community, and through these communities, you may be able to build good and godly friendship and support.
There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail. Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him Ecclesiastes 4:8-10

The time is now

Time is one chief resource God has given to all human beings, we are all allocated twenty-four hours every day, and within this time we must discover what we ought to do.  As young wives and mothers, we must be very wise with our use of time. We must make sure our time is invested in the right things and at the right time.  Whatever season your marriage or motherhood is in, I want you to know that the time is now. The question to ask is, the time is now, for what?”
  1. To enjoy your marriage: whatever the basis and reason for getting married to your husband, and whatever the situation is now in your personal marriage, you can by the grace of God make it a time to enjoy that marriage. Marriage is a gift for this earth, Jesus told us in Luke 20 that there are no weddings nor marriages post resurrection. You only have this life to enjoy your marriage. There maybe a number of things happening in/to your marriage that cause it to appear  unenjoyable, you can find help as you turn to the pages of the Bible, talk to godly women and much more talk to God.  Do not postpone or banish the enjoyment of your marriage. It is possible to get the best enjoyment out of your union.
  2. To enjoy motherhood: motherhood is a lifetime journey and whatever stage you are in your mothering journey, make the decision to enjoy your children. The time is now to enjoy the company of your toddler, preteen, teenager, young adult etc. as they grow so quickly. How do you do this? Make every effort to put up with your child’s shortcomings and mistakes, correct in love and accept your child without reservations.  Know that every single second, minute and hour that you have with your child is a privilege and provides the opportunity to enjoy that time with him/her. Make it your priority to get involved in the life and development of your child. Maybe you spend long hours working so that you can give your child the best education, clothing and social life.  As laudable as these may be, the gift of yourself and your time given to your child, creates long term memories and causes  bonding with you and that child.  Postpone not the day of enjoying your motherhood to tomorrow, nor the time to forgive your husband to another day, the time is now.  The time is now to build a solid relationship with your spouse, and the time is now to build an enduring relationship with your child. The time is now, waste it, no more!!!! For everything the Bible says there is a time. Ecclesiastes 3:1