By Elizabeth Adekanmi

….. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

                                                                      Gen 24:64 KJV

……. When Rebekah looked up and saw Isaac, she quickly dismounted from her camel

                                                                           Gen 24: 64NLT

…… When Rebecca saw Isaac, she got down from her camel.

                                                                             Gen 24:64 GNB                     

The twenty fourth chapter of Genesis gives a narrative of the Lord’s providence in giving Isaac a wife. It bears testimony of His commitment and assistance to us when we are given to seeking His will.  Many of us will remember His help in this area of our lives. 

‘You may now kiss the bride’ announces the Officiating Minister. The Groom then lifts the veil and kisses his bride. ‘I present to you MR & MRS X’ the Minister added.  The congregation gives a round of applause to the newlyweds or in a COVID-19 world, those who view online.   And so begins their lives together, two people from two different backgrounds with two different upbringings.  One of the Lord’s mandates for them being Genesis 2: 24; therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Towards the end of the chapter in Genesis 24, we see Rebekah consenting to leave Mesopotamia without delay in order to be married. The journey on Camel would have taken several days no doubt. What happened on their arrival in Canaan is what I will like to draw our attention to. Verse 64: When Rebekah saw Isaac, she got down from her camel.  

What is the significance of this? It means both of them can relate on the same level, Rebekah would have had to talk to Isaac from a height had she not taken that step.  Secondly, covering herself with her veil would at best have been an inconvenience when atop a camel.

It is possible to be married in name, but remain on camels. This camel could be anything from hero worship, comparison, friends, Status, economic power, unrealistic expectations etc. The camel of ‘this is how we do it when I was with my parents’ or ‘Uncle Peter and Aunt Alice usually do things this way’, ‘Oh ! The Jones did this last year, we must do it too’, some other times, they are just ideals we have consciously or unconsciously built. Should we then not have ideals? – Not if they are at variance with God’s word and purpose.   We must alight from these camels – whatever that may be for us as individuals.

Getting down from them allows us to be able to wrap ourselves with the veil of humility and godliness through which Christ can shine. It leaves us with the readiness to follow the Lord into the unknown, open hearts and hands to receive God’s help in building our homes. Without this in place, many shadows will haunt the marriage. The man can hardly take his wife into his mother’s tent so to say. The injunction of God to the man in Gen 2:24 will be a herculean task for the man if his bride is still riding her dromedaries of camels.  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2: 24

Or how easy will it be for a man to cleave to a woman that is cleaving to other things? Am I absorbing the menfolk of their responsibility? By no means, I am only focusing on what pertains to the female human. The best mirror we can look into in order to find what our individual camel is, is God’s word- The Bible. As we make it a habit to humbly approach the throne of grace on a daily basis, we will clearly see what our individual ‘camel/s’ is/ are. Victory comes when we surrender them at the foot of the cross. For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin.  Heb4:14 AMP

Let us then get off our camels, cover ourselves with veils of humility and godliness, following the master as He leads us to build His kingdom beginning from our homes. We will see the love and comfort of the Lord permeating our homes. Don’t we know that healthy marriages produce balanced children, strong Church and safe society? The decay we see in society and church are a direct result of dysfunctional marriages. Alas! The change we crave must begin with us.  






Stand not alone

There is evidence from statistics of wives doing life by themselves. They are unplugged from the community of other ladies that may be of help to them in their journey, meanwhile, wives at all levels need the support of other wives and mothers. The road to godly motherhood and godly marriage is like a roller coaster ride, God knew that there would be highs and lows, hence the reason He plants people on our path to help and guide at these seasons of life.  Have you a community of ladies? The benefits of communities of like-minded wives and mothers are great and so rewarding if well managed.
How to get plugged into a community of godly wives and mothers.
There are many groups helping and supporting each other, face to face and virtually. Technology has also helped people to form communities of support and encouragement to each other. In order to get plugged into the support of focus group, below are some of the things I will encourage you to do.
  1. Speak to people in your church: There are small groups of women in local churches that support and care for specific people groups, why not ask if there is one for wives and mothers in your local church, and if there is none, why not pray on starting one in your local church? Approach your leaders, and if given the go-ahead, speak to the older ladies and encourage them to join the group in order to guide and guard the younger wives and others in your local church.
  2. Google up “Groups for Christian mothers or wives: There are many groups for wives and mothers on WhatsApp, Facebook, Telegram and various social media platforms, while I will say be careful as to which group you get yourself into, read the ethos/beliefs of the group and view some of the activities they are involved in and see if that meets your personal standards.
  3. Tried referral: Sometimes, friends may refer you to groups online or some that meet face to face, why not give it a try and see how beneficial it might be to you.  A word of caution, do not be dragged into many groups, particularly online groups, be disciplined as to how many groups you want to be part of, or else you will find yourself being Jack of all trade and master of none. There was a time when I subscribed to many groups on Facebook, and when I needed to get into the useful groups that I needed, it seemed all muddled up. I had to take extra time deleting and removing myself from such groups so that I can focus on the ones that matter to me.
  4. Books: One way that I have found community is through books, I have devoted myself to the reading of many books from different backgrounds and different authors. With this, I found myself learning like a university student, taking all sorts of courses to build oneself up and keep myself occupied positively. The only difference is that there is no opportunity to speak vocally or live with the persons involved in the book, having said that, you may be able to write to the author of a particular book you are reading.
Communities help to develop and grow you into the wife and the mother and ultimately, the woman you ought to be, and this happens if you find the right community, and through these communities, you may be able to build good and godly friendship and support.
There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail. Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him Ecclesiastes 4:8-10