As women, we are very good at comparing and contrasting things. And if we are not careful, you will find yourself comparing your family standard with another family, and before you know it you are engaged in competition and a restless pursuit. The goal of Christ’s women must never be to make another home their standard, even though there may be things to emulate from them, Christ ought to be the standard a woman pursues her home.
What standards do women compare in their homes?
1. Finance: One of the things women compare with themselves is the financial capacity of their families. They look at their family earnings and what they could do to earn more or to be up to the standard of the other family. As good as this may be, you should not aim to achieve or accomplish the financial status of another family. This may put pressure on your husband, on your children and your relationship with them. Christian married women often pressurise their husbands to find extra work in order for them to have the financial status that matches that of their friends. This is not acceptable as Christians, you must not push your husband to such extreme, you are to appreciate him for the little he manages to bring in, and help him to see how that little can be well spent to the glory of God. And sometimes, some women take up additional work and put a further strain upon their health, the health of their marriage and children and relationship in their homes, as for you, you must beware of this.
2. Husband’s ability and treatment: Another thing married women compare amongst themselves is their husband’s ability. Maybe it is the sexual ability, social ability, ability to talk and socialise. Again, if you take your husband to friends to measure in line with their husbands, you will only find yourself frustrated and ungrateful. And you will end up building “envy blocks” between you and your friend.
3. Children’s ability: This is another killer in family life, the comparing of your children with the children of your friends. Sometimes, you may look at the academic performance of your friend’s children and become frustrated with that of your children, and with the help of technology and social media, women have been able to post their children’s achievement for many others to see, and this is a practice that I am totally against. Mary, the mother of Jesus kept many things about her Son in her heart and not in the public domain. So, if you have friends that share details of their children’s success on social media, or events and happenings in their homes, you have to equip your heart with the truth of God’s word concerning your children. And the truth is whether you like it or not children will never be at the same level of abilities whether spiritually, physically, academically etc.
If there are areas you desire growth or improvement in your children, why not turn to God? There is a huge danger in seeking to make other people’s home the standard of your home, God is the One with the blueprint for every home and that includes yours, why not turn to Him?
If there be any standard of comparison, Christ gave us one in Matthew 7 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock Mt 7 24-25
The danger of making other homes your standard